SLEEP(re-done demo,pt1)

[secretagent]

2 years ago we produced a song called sleep.

I thought it had potential but structure wise,it sucked.

So we are,with your help,trying to resusictate this track.

Shaun,and maybe jordan?,has heard the original,but this new demo version is open for any constructive criticism.

Much appreciated ;D

THANKS

[Dubsounds]

Martin, I'm impressed mate. Louise, you're sounding better than ever these days.

The only thing missing from this is your odd little noises Martin (or perhaps there aren't enough to satisfy). I made a reference to that very cool Pro Soloist demo you made on here recently (sorry AGAIN Colin - it's not deliberate I promise). There was a lot of stuff on that that made me go ooooh! How about digging it out again mate and seeing if you could add a few layers of subtle insanity to the song as-is.

I believe this is the forth vesion I've heard of this and now it sounds like the song it was supposed to be.

[Gavin]

Id like to hear the voice more effected.A nice reverb/short delay to fatten it up and give it space.Not keen on the chorus affect youve got here.
I also dont like the way the beats stop and start and change so much. I always think the beats and backing are there to compliment the vocals not distract you from it.Unless its dance music of course.
I think you need to think of it as a whole song rather than segments which this sounds like. In fact you could prolly get rid of the beats completely and create a kind of etherial /this mortal coil type sound?
Just some thoughts anyway.

[secretagent]

Cheers fellas,i'll take those on board ;D

[vortex]

Jeez dude thats some dark lyrics, is it from the point of a battered wife or abused child OR is it really an ABBAesque love song and I'm just weird?

I agree the song is a melange of good ideas and mixes, but as a whole sits on the side of too avant garde for me with to many cuts and changes ( but then I do like erasure as well as NIN). If you give a damn I can tell you the bits that work for me but perhaps thats too limited a view point. I would say I particularly like the middle 8 ( OK its not in the middle and its probably not 8 bars) the bit with the i dream of wires incidental synth bits.

Summary- still a work in progress and i had to turn the lights on and check behind the curtains, and goodness me I don't know whether louise is singing better,probably, but you're certainly recording her better, leave her at the front where she should be

[secretagent]

Thanks for the advice/comments joe ;D

The original version had at least another 3 maybe 4 sections to it

One problem i have is,i always try to veer away from the intro-verse-bridge-chorus etc. formula,but i know this makes it extremely difficult listening especially to a casual listener.

Iam currently creating a new vocal mix as suggested by gavin to see how that goes,also i understand the need of tying it all together by a fairly constant rhythm(again,gavs suggestion)

Last of all,the odd little noises will be created and added(your right shaun,there aren't enough)

[secretagent]

The upgraded version can be found HERE